This is the generation that will abolish abortion

A Post Abortive Mother’s Response To The “I Had An Abortion T-shirt”

Today I came across a pro-abortion image that made my skin crawl. There was no blood, no little aborted baby parts, no image of death. Instead it was a photo of Gloria Steinem, smiling, arms raised in a celebratory pose, wearing a t-shirt that read, “I had an abortion.” Beneath her it asked, “Do you really need to inconvenience yourself for the next 18 years?”

Where to begin?

As a post-abortive mother of four, this infuriated and disgusted me on many different levels. Firstly, it rekindles my anger toward the “Women’s Liberation” movement that has so emasculated our men and destroyed our society with things like birth control and abortion on demand until a child’s day of birth. Why is it that men are afraid to speak up for their children as they drive their child’s mother to the abortion mill? Because society has spent the last 40 years telling them that the ultimate display of respect and equality to their female counterparts is the freedom and constitutional right that is killing her child at her simplest whim, as if she were having a tooth or a wart removed. Shut up and let me do what I want. And going one step further, consider the utter selfishness of the question posed in this graphic. Why inconvenience yourself with a child? Kill it so you can continue your promiscuous lifestyle with NO REGRETS. Tell me, please, the last time you heard a mother say she regretted keeping her child. Women do not regret the children they have; they regret the children they didn’t have. And on top of that, mothers, did you know that you’re FREE of your parental responsibility once your child turns 18? WOW! It’s such a relief to know that when my youngest is 18 I will no longer be burdened and tormented by the absolute love and constant worry that envelops my heart for him. Upon their 18th birthday, I can end my relationship with each of my children and resume my wonderful and joyous life that I had without them. They’re on their own for college, so my husband and I can retire early. Really? I can’t imagine a day without them. I miss them when they’re at school, for crying out loud!

In my recent years of pro-life activism, I have been approached by dozens of post-abortive women. Some are ready to begin their healing process. Some don’t want to discuss their experience, but just want to say, “I’ve been there, too, and I appreciate your story.” Some want to know if their destructive behavior is normal. Some want to know if they’ll ever be forgiven. I have never, ever, ever been approached by a woman who said, “Having an abortion was the best decision of my life.” Or even, “My abortion was the right thing to do and I’m ok with it.” The only time I ever met a woman wearing a shirt similar to that of Ms. Steinem was at the DNC, when we were joined at a pro-life prayer vigil by some very loud, dirty, profane women, whose mission was obviously to mock us and our beliefs. When we presented 3,300 flowers to demonstrate the growing number of children killed by abortion in America every day, one of our visitors asked, “CAN I HAVE TWO FLOWERS? ONE FOR EACH OF MY ABORTIONS?” I told her of course and handed her the flowers and she dramatically placed one behind each ear. My reaction wasn’t enough, I suppose, because as we prayed, she began to yell as loudly as she could that each of these flowers represents a woman who could continue to fulfill her goals, whose life would not be “foreclosed upon,” whose dreams would not be dashed by the burden of a child. If we lunatic pro-lifers had our way, 3,300 women a day would have their futures diminished by being forced to have a child against her will. Her will. Not God’s will, but hers. It’s not about you, or religion, or doing what’s right. It’s about me. I will do what makes me feel good and if I believe I’m a good person then I don’t have to worry about a thing because that God of yours is a forgiving God, isn’t he? I will have sex with whomever I choose, because your God made us sexual beings, didn’t he? Sex feels good for a reason, right? And if that God should make a mistake and create a life in my womb when it’s not convenient for me, then I’ll just take care of it. I’ll kill the child (or remove my uterine contents, as the procedure is described by abortionists) and continue to live my life however I want,  because after all, it was your God who accidentally decided I should be pregnant in the first place. Silly God. Really? Do you really think that God makes mistakes?

 

I digress. The t-shirt. Would I wear one like it? I had an abortion. That’s not a slogan on a shirt, that’s my reality. There was a time in my early 20s when all I wanted was to get pregnant and have a child. Desperately. I would practically DARE my boyfriend, and alternately BEG him to begin our little family. Why then, when I finally conceived my first child, was I so easily convinced to “take care of it”? I don’t have an answer. I can say with certainty that if he had reacted with “That’s great news! We’re going to have a family!” that I would have kept the child. Never did I feel like this was my body and my decision. It was us and our decision and he decided that abortion was the answer and I didn’t argue. The very night of the procedure I drank all of the whiskey I could find and I did that for most of the nights following for several months. I wanted to leave the country. I wanted therapy. I wanted to die. I wanted, more than anything in the world, to be INCONVENIENCED FOR THE NEXT 18 YEARS. But I chose not to be inconvenienced, to have my uterine contents removed, to spend the next several years suffering from my decision. Now as I stand on the sidewalk in front of Charlotte’s abortion mills, I am joined by friends who are unable to conceive. How must they feel, longing for a child, watching a woman who chooses convenience over a lifetime of love?

And finally, I thought that Planned Parenthood’s intention was to keep abortion safe, legal and rare. Safe, legal and rare. It’s everyone’s argument anymore: safe, legal and rare. We don’t want any women dying in back-alley abortion clinics, or resorting to the old coat hanger method, do we? Tonya Reaves. Marla Cardamone. Diana Lopez. Carole Wingo. Nichole Williams. Tanya Williamson. These women weren’t killed in a dark alley. Several of them died immediately after leaving Planned Parenthood. Safe? For whom? In nearly 100% of abortions, a child is killed. And these and many more women died as a result of a botched abortion. Legal, you betcha. Rare? Planned Parenthood recently released a report that boasted 333,964 children were killed in their facilities during fiscal year 2011-2012. One child was aborted, and mother diminished, every 90 seconds. Safe, legal and rare. That’s why we need Planned Parenthood; we need to keep abortion safe, legal and rare.

Closing, I wonder, does the question; “Do you really need to inconvenience yourself for the next 18 years” sound like it comes from an organization that DOESN’T want you to have an abortion? Or from an organization that sees you and your uterine contents as nothing more than a dollar sign…?

God, I thank you for blessing me with these four inconveniences. Please tell my baby who sits with you that I love him, I’m sorry, and his sisters and brother will beam when they meet him.

Brice Griffin

11 Comments

  1. Denise
    Posted January 14, 2013 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    Thank you, truly, for this article. I have had abortions in my past and I have three living children. Never once did I wish I would have aborted one of them, but many times wished I hadn’t aborted the ones I did. Women, have abortions if you want, I guarantee that while your uterus is empied…..so too will your soul. My precious babies are in heaven with Jesus and I am thankful. If I had it all to do over again, I would have had enough love for myself to wait to have sex in the first place.

  2. Brice Griffin
    Posted January 14, 2013 at 12:01 pm | Permalink

    Denise, thank you for sharing that. I wonder how many women realize, once it’s too late, that sex should have been saved for your spouse. You and your children will be in my prayers.

    Brice

  3. Ravyn
    Posted January 14, 2013 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    Denise, thank you so much for your bravery in telling your story. I, too, will be praying for you and your kids. There are people affected by abortion that are not even considered….and I don’t just mean the babies. No one talks about how abortion affects the people around the woman seeking to end her pregnancy. The fathers, who grieve for their children, and the friends and loved ones who so desperately tried to save the unborn child’s life. I am one of those friends. You don’t hear our stories, and I suppose that’s okay. There are definitely more important things to focus on. For me, however, it still haunts me…the little child that I couldn’t save. I did everything I could think of to keep her from having an abortion, but in the end she had one anyway. I was 18, as was my friend. I spent the night before her abortion praying, and crying, and hoping beyond hope that she would have a change of heart, and let her baby live. But in the end, it didn’t work. I still grieve for that little baby…13 weeks at the time…18 years later. I wish people knew that their choice to abort doesn’t just affect the woman and her baby…it affects everyone that loves and cares for them both. Maybe it’s weird to mourn for a child that isn’t mine, but I cannot stop myself from loving this little one that I never got the chance to know. I was going to be his (I always felt that he was a boy…I guess I’ll find out in Heaven) Auntie, and I loved him very much. That’s all I wanted to say.

  4. Rebecca
    Posted January 14, 2013 at 1:03 pm | Permalink

    Thank you for your honest article! As a mother of 5 (and who considered an abortion for my first), my heart is saddened greatly by the “choice” that society screams women must have. Your feelings and thoughts mirror my own, and I am truly sickened by that shirt and PP. It’s like looking right at an ad for evil. There is nothing good, nothing pure, nothing Godly about it. Such a lie to believe (and then promote) that living your life with no regrets or consequences is liberating! Liberation is not in doing as you please, being selfish & then claiming you are the way you are so therefore it’s fine. What is truly liberating is loving, truly loving (the action) someone more than yourself & not expecting anything in return. Denying what you want and giving all to others is something that society *thinks* it admires (ie our view of Mother Theresa, US soldiers, etc), but then why do we not sacrifice anything for anyone? Parenthood is a sacrifice, marriage is a sacrifice, friendship is a sacrifice, service is a sacrifice, love is a sacrifice, yet all these things can bring the greatest joys this side of heaven. I have true pity for those who will never choose to give such love. This t-shirt says it all: I’m more important than anyone; my heart is hardened and dead, and I’m fine with that.

    God Bless you!

  5. Posted January 14, 2013 at 1:29 pm | Permalink

    Brice,

    Thank you for writing this, I was appalled to see the same picture the other day and didn’t have the words to say.

  6. April Koski
    Posted January 14, 2013 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I had an abortion in 1995 at the age of nineteen. I was single and just starting my career in the Army. I thought at the time I was doing the right thing, and that kept me going for years. I even went on to have three more kids, but the anger at myself bubbled just below the surface. I’m saddened every day to see these new Facebook ‘pages’ dedicated to ‘erasing the stigma’ of abortion popping up, supposedly started by pregnant females who have their abortion appointments set, have their minds made up, and are PROUD to be ‘taking responsibility’ for themselves. What’s even more appalling are the words and attitudes of the individuals who will follow these pages and effectively ‘cheer on’ the woman who’s getting the abortion. The reasons for the abortion that the women list are both shocking and sad. Not once do they mention the possibility of adoption; instead they spout such gems as ‘my consent to sex does not consent to being pregnant against my will’. Sometimes, I wish I could reach into their computer, grab them up by their shoulders, and shake them. I wish I could tell them to think towards the future, and maybe, just maybe, they will regret it.

  7. Nyllia
    Posted January 14, 2013 at 11:59 pm | Permalink

    Thank you so much for this article! I am only 21 but I got pregnant with my daughter at 15. One of the first “solutions” some of my family members had was abortion. I didn’t directly speak with a very dear family member because he wanted me to abort and I refused. I told him right off the bat that for me, abortion was not an option. I may have only been a child but God blessed me with a love I had never experienced before. I immediately knew that she was meant to be my baby girl. She is now almost five and starting school in the fall with a new baby brother!! I am happily married with a wonderful husband, we have wonderful jobs and although we sometimes struggle, we are always strongest together. It wasn’t family that has brought me this far, it was always knowing that GOD had a hand on my life. With his help, I finished school, earned a degree in childcare, all while working fulltime and raising a baby on my own until I met my Husband. Through HIM miracles are possible and if I could show every doubting young woman facing a pregnancy out there that this does not Ruin your life but it makes you so much stronger, I would!!! I could never imagine life without my kids and I praise Jesus that I don’t have to. This article is so inspiring and I know that you are helping many post-abortive woman as well as woman who have never had abortions. I , too, hope that I can get my story out there to prevent young woman from making a decision that will scar their hearts forever. I want to show them that life is what you choose to make it!

  8. Tessa
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 9:03 pm | Permalink

    I can not believe some people out there, If you do not want to get pregnant and inconvenience yourself for the next 18 years than you should be using protection, get your tubes tied or get the whole thing removed than you will not have to have abortions. I do agree in some cases an abortion must be done but if you are in a consensual relationship and get pregnant An abortion is not the answer. Abortiobn is not birthcontrol you agree to the sex you go in unprotected you get pregnant you could have done adoption. If you are so sure you do not want children have a hysterectomy, not an abortion. Flaunting your abortion and and saying do you really want to inconvenience yourself for the next 18 years is also like saying ” I agreed to have sex, I did not use protection I got pregnant and killed my innocent child”. It’s so sad there are many mothers that would love to have a child, all you could do was think of yourself, even to give the child up for adoption did not even come into question.

  9. Mariah
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 11:53 pm | Permalink

    Thank You so much for this article!!! For I was an abortion surviver. I am the most pro-life person you all will ever meet. ;)

  10. Posted January 19, 2013 at 11:24 pm | Permalink

    Did anyone notice that the hand gesture by this woman is the same as the Hitler youth and Obama’s hand gesture? i know that Obama is pro abortion. Just thought that it was interesting. Gloria.

  11. Megan
    Posted August 2, 2013 at 9:38 am | Permalink

    Well, having an abortion was the best decision of my life, and my abortion was the right thing to do and I’m ok with it.

    There you go.

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