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“Are you mad at me, Dad?”
How do you answer your teenage daughter
when she tells you she’s pregnant?

By Bryan Kemper

23 October 2024

With the national abortion debate now taking place, primarily in the states, parental notification and consent has become a major issue. Some of the ballot initiatives seeking to impose abortion in state constitutions eliminate parental consent, which would open the door to allowing school staffers and others to take minors for abortions without their parents’ knowledge.

As a parent of four daughters, this concerns me greatly. It reminds me of when my teenage daughter got pregnant and how she came to me in her time of need. It also reminded me of how much we need to educate parents on how to react to their children and how to love them through this time. Here is the story of how I handled the situation with my daughter.

I have spent more than 35 years standing outside abortion mills, talking to men and women about alternatives to abortion, pleading with them to know that their child is a gift from God and no matter what got them in this situation, their child is a blessing. When I first started to have kids, I would bring them with me to pro-life events and dress them in pro-life t-shirts. I was the proudest father on the planet when my kids would ask me if they could protest abortion with me or ask me to help them write a paper about abortion.

I often talk to my daughters about how we must love everyone and make sure young girls who are scared know there is help for them and people who love them in their darkest hours. I witnessed my kids talk to people at our booths about how wrong abortion is and how every single child is a wanted child and needs to be welcomed in love.

I can honestly say that when they were young, I never imagined that one of my own daughters would be that scared teenage girl terrified of telling her parents she’s pregnant. I just assumed they would grow up, fall in love, get married and then have kids.

The day I walked into the hallway and saw my precious angel crying and afraid to tell me what I already knew was a difficult day. Not because I had to face the reality that my daughter was pregnant, but because I had to see that fear in her eyes and hear her say the words “Are you mad at me, Dad?”

To be honest, anger was the last emotion I felt at that moment. I hugged my daughter tightly and just told her I loved her. When she asked me if I was mad, I said without hesitation, “NO! How can I be mad at you for blessing me with my first grandchild?”

Over the years I have talked to many kids from Christian homes, pastor’s daughters and even pastors themselves who were walking into abortion mills because they were afraid of how people would react. I have heard pastors talk about how they feared what their church members would say to find out their child got pregnant out of wedlock. I have had young girls tell me they were afraid if their parents found out, they would be kicked out of the house and disowned. An angry father once threw me to the ground as he pushed his crying daughter into the abortion mill for an abortion she didn’t want.

I am going to say something that may not sit well with many people: The abortion rate in churches is directly caused by those who forget the mercy and grace Christ shows us on a daily basis. It blows my mind that we would be more worried about hiding a sexual sin than accepting the gift of life. Instead of embracing the absolute grace of God, we reject life - the life that was made in His image.

Pregnancy is not a sin; pregnancy is not a disease, and pregnancy is not something to ever be ashamed of. Every single child is a blessing from the Lord and should be welcomed and embraced with all the love in the world. When we react in anger and shame, we reject grace and forget the Divine Mercy Christ showed us when He gave His life for us. So many people choose to sacrifice the child to cover a sin that

We live in a political atmosphere that seeks to destigmatize abortion and asks women to “shout your abortion” in order to normalize killing babies. We hear politicians screaming about children being separated from their parents at the border, while in the same breath they demand government funding for Planned Parenthood to permanently separate children from their parents. The very people who want to open our borders to all immigrants refuse to welcome all children to migrate from the womb into their parent’s arms.

Many years ago, I was told a story by Judie Brown of American Life League about the day her daughter told her she was pregnant. Judie told us the first words out of every parent’s mouth should be, “I love you.” I learned this lesson when my daughter was still a baby herself and never really imagined I would have to put this into practice with her. Nineteen years later that is exactly what I had to do, and I thank God for those wise words Judie taught me so many years ago.

When my daughter told me she was pregnant I was filled with joy knowing that I was now a grandfather. The following week I drove her to our local pregnancy resource center, where I was recognized immediately for my pro-life work. We were loved, welcomed and never once judged in the least. The day after Christmas I met my daughter at the doctor’s office where we found out she was having a little girl. That little girl is now five years old.

While I have spent 35 years calling for an end to child killing, I know I must also call for us to show love and mercy to all and teach the world how to embrace the gift of life and reject the lies that lead so many to abortion.

Every child is a gift from God and every pregnant woman and girl needs to be told how loved she is.

Editor’s note: Bryan Kemper is Street Activism Coordinator for Priests for Life and the founder of its youth outreach, Stand True. He is the author of Pro-life is the New Punk Rock. This article is a Pregnancy Help News original.