How Do You Answer Your Teenage Daughter When She Tells You She's Pregnant?

Bryan Kemper
Director, Stand True Pro-Life Youth Outreach
Bryan Kemper

I have spent close to 30 years standing outside abortion mills talking to men and women about alternatives to abortion, pleading with them to know that their child is a gift from God and no matter what got them in this situation their child is a blessing.  When I first started to have kids I would bring them with me to pro-life events and dress them in pro-life t-shirts. I was the proudest father on the planet when my kids would ask me if they could protest abortion with me or ask me to help them write a paper in school about abortion.

I often talk to my daughters about how we must love everyone and make sure young girls who are scared know there is help for them and people who love them in their darkest hours. I witnessed my kids talk to people at our booths about how wrong abortion is and how every single child is a wanted child and needs to be welcomed in love.

I can honestly say that when they were young I never imagined that one of my own daughters would be that scared teenage girl who is terrified of telling her parents she's  pregnant. I just assumed that they would grow up, fall in love, get married and then have kids.

The day I walked into the hallway and saw my precious angel crying and afraid to tell me what I already knew was a difficult day. Not because I had to face the reality that my daughter is pregnant, but because I had to see that fear in her eyes and hear her say the words “Are you mad at me Dad?”

To be honest, anger was the last emotion I felt at that moment. I hugged my daughter tight and just told her I loved her. When she asked me if I was mad I said without hesitation, “NO! How can I be mad at you for blessing me with my first grandchild?”

Over the years I have talked to many kids from Christian homes, pastor's daughters and even pastors themselves who were walking into abortion mills because they were afraid of how people would react. I have heard pastors talk about how they feared what their church members would say to find out their child got pregnant out of wedlock. I have heard young girls tell me they were afraid if their parents found out that they would be kicked out of the house and disowned.  An angry father once threw me to the ground as he pushed his crying daughter into the abortion mill to make her have an abortion she didn't want.

I am going to say something that may not sit well with many people; the abortion rate in churches is directly caused by those who forget the Mercy and Grace Christ shows us on a daily basis. It blows my mind that we would be more worried about hiding a sexual sin than accepting the gift of life. Instead of embracing the absolute grace of God we reject life itself destroy His image.

Pregnancy is not a sin; pregnancy is not a disease, and pregnancy is not something to ever be ashamed of. Every single child is a blessing from the Lord and should be welcomed and embraced with all the love in the world. When we react in anger and shame we reject grace and have forgotten the Divine Mercy Christ showed us when He gave His life for us. So many people choose to sacrifice the child to cover a sin that has already been paid for in full by the very God who gave created that child.

We live in a political atmosphere that was wants to de-stigmatize abortion and ask women to “shout your abortion” in order to normalize killing babies. The recent video of an abortion activist bragging to children about how her abortion was simply like a bad dentist appointment is an attempt to further open the floodgates of the deadliest holocaust our world has ever seen.

We hear politicians screaming about children being separated from their parents in one breath as they demand government funding for Planned Parenthood to permanently separate children by killing them. The very people who want to welcome all immigrants into our country with open borders refuse to welcome all children to migrate from the womb into their parent's arms.

Many years ago I was told a story by Judie Brown of American Life League about the day her daughter told her she was pregnant. Judie told us that the first words out of every parent's mouth should be, “I love you.” I learned this lesson when my daughter was still a baby herself and never really imagined I would have to put this into practice with her. Nineteen years later that is exactly what I had to do and I thank God for those wise words Judie taught me so many years ago.

When my daughter told me she was pregnant I was filled with joy knowing that I am now a grandfather. The following week I drove her to our local crisis pregnancy center where I was recognized immediately for my pro-life work. We were loved, welcomed and never once judged in the least. The day after Christmas I met my daughter at the doctor's office where we found out she is having a little girl. In May I will hold my granddaughter in my arms for the first time and I cannot be more excited.

Next week I will join hundreds of thousands at the March for Life in Washington D.C. and the following week at the Walk for Life West Coast in San Francisco. While these events are a call for an end to child killing they are also a call for us to show love and mercy to all and teach the world how to embrace the gift of life and reject the lies that lead so many to abortion.

Every child is a gift from God and every pregnant girl needs to be told how loved she is.